jessica

y ty.
My name is Hallie*. I'm 24 years old and live in California's Canada/Washington's Mexico/Idaho's Portugal/Stephen Jr's favorite place to eat high field mice, about 30-40 minutes SE of Portland. Miraculously Amy Sedaris came here on her book tour and I had the chance to meet her.
I work at two separate libraries.
I choose to believe that Chuck and Geoffrey really exist. I'm absolutely convinced someday we will have a hot sextape filled with their dirty, dirty exploits.
I'm hopefully going to NYC in October to go to TCR & TDS and hopefully Conesey.

Quote:
STUPID. I'D SPELL IT OUT FOR YOU BUT YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO READ, SO I'LL SAY THIS AS DELICATELY AS I KNOW HOW: YOU. ARE A BIG. FAT. STUPID. ZERO. FATTY.


*pronounced like Halle Berry. Not Hailey. I kill everyone who pronounces it wrong. I love it when Halle Berry is mentioned on shows with celebrities that I like. I get to hear them say my nameeee.

Good morning! I meant to friend you a long time ago, but I forgot (because I suck)!

Actually, I'm not sure if you even remember who I am. But, um, yes. Hi!

I LOVE YOU AND I WANT TO HAVE YOUR BABIES.

"Noblet, why are you crying? It's only a melon. Just a lonely melon...no other melons around, not a patch in site. What's it doing out here? And why is it carrying a picnic basket with two of everything: two portobella mushroom sandwiches, two macaroons... Who would abandon a faceless melon? Can you imagine how that melon must've felt? Can you even imagine?"

That's my favorite at the moment.

A lot of my favorite quotes are my favorites because of the delivery. Like..."Jerri, where is what is left of your mind?" and "I’ve recently learned something about self-respect...I don’t have any." and then in "To Be Young, Gifted, and Blank" when Chuck and Jerri are in the car, Noblet asks Jerri if she's ready to give everything up to be a violin prodigy and Jerri says "...no." Amy's delivery makes me laugh so much. I don't know why.

thing about myself: i have a major thing for mustache jokes. don't know why.

aaand me trying to pick one favorite SWC quote is nearly impossible, but i'll narrow it down:

"Every student macaroniously believes that their teacher hates them."

"I don't appreciate you coming in here and pissing all over my glee!"

"I'm afraid I can't read this note, Jerri. The handwriting is too...uncooperative."

"Fidel Castro impersonated Marilyn Monroe and gave President Kennedy a case of syphilis so bad that it blew the back of his head off."

pretty much anything Principal Blackman says, and any Chuck/Geoffrey dialogue, any of Noblet's historical revisions...at this point, i am going to say EVERY MOMENT OF THE SHOW. "narrowing it down," ha. who am i kidding?

anyway. HI, I LIKE YOU!